


The Weeping Angel Cave

by merryghoul



Series: Vacationthon (2011-12) [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Community: vacationthon, F/M, Hawaii, Vacation, Volcanoes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-17
Updated: 2012-09-17
Packaged: 2017-11-14 10:23:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryghoul/pseuds/merryghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the Doctor and River's Hawaiian episode!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weeping Angel Cave

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unbidden_truth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbidden_truth/gifts).



The Doctor should've known something was wrong when the floor of the TARDIS was smoking. The TARDIS, for once, was being patient, not informing the Doctor that she was in pain, but she didn't like where the Doctor had landed her.

"Doctor," River said as she watched the smoke, "I think you should park the TARDIS somewhere else."

"Somewhere else? I'm actually at the right place at the right time. Hawai'i, 27 August 2012, Hawai'i Volcanoes National Park." He put on a straw hat and walked towards the TARDIS' doors. "I can show you what volcanoes look like while we're being romantic. It's a perfect Earthbound vacation. How could you _not_ love it?"

As soon as the Doctor opened the doors, he realized the TARDIS was on top of a steam vent in the Kīleuea volcano. The Doctor _was_ in the right location, but he wasn't _at_ the location. He was _in_ it.

River took her blaster and shot off the Doctor's straw hat. "This time, _I’m_ driving. And no hats whatsoever."

 

The TARDIS materialized in a cave. The Doctor, without his straw hat, and River stepped out into the cave. The cave was dark.

"Doctor, it's a cave."

"Yes, I know, River."

"This isn't very romantic, unless you want to take advantage of the dark. I _do_ know some things we can do in the dark."

"I wanted to watch the volcanoes and _then_ do some things first. Is that okay, River?"

River sighed. "Oh, of course it's okay. Sweetie, don't you think you need a torch to explore this cave?"

"A torch? Oh, that's a brilliant idea, River."

The Doctor felt in his pockets for two torches. He handed one to River and turned on the other.

The two walked down in the cave, torches in hand, until they saw a familiar sight: a Weeping Angel. They stopped in their tracks.

"Well, this is a _wonderful_ vacation," River said.

"Back away slowly, River," the Doctor said.

"I know, sweetie. And don't blink. We've done Alfava Metraxis, right? Obviously I can't get to my diary at this moment."

"Yes, we've done Alfava Metraxis. It's not a spoiler."

"Good."

The two kept their eyes open and backed up slowly, heading towards the TARDIS. The Weeping Angel's movements had slowed down, but it was still following them.

River and the Doctor managed to get inside the TARDIS. They both ran to the console and materialized away from the cave.

 

The next place the TARDIS materialized was outside the cave River and the Doctor had just escaped from. A man in a pith hat and a stereotypical explorer's outfit, out of place for Hawaii, was outside the cave.

The Doctor and River walked outside the TARDIS and saw the man.

The Doctor walked up to the man. "Hello."

"Oh, hello! I'm Professor Hubert Whitehead."

The Doctor gave Whitehead a puzzled look. "Professor Hubert Whitehead?"

"Yes, that's me."

"You're not that guy from that _Brady Bunch_ episode."

"What's _The Brady Bunch?_ "

"You've never seen _The Brady Bunch._ "

"No. I grew up on an isolated road on the North Island of New Zealand. I didn't grow up with a TV or internet and I've never felt the need to get them."

"Oh, okay. I am the Doctor, and this is my wife, Professor River Song."

Whitehead shook River's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I'm an archeologist."

"I'm an archeologist, too," River said.

"You are? Well, you certainly look the part."

"I think you look the part a _bit_ too much, Professor Whitehead."

"I get that all the time. I heard there was a valuable artifact inside this cave. I'm about to retrieve it."

"No, no, don't go in there!" the Doctor said.

"Why not, Doctor?"

"There's a Weeping Angel inside that cave."

"That's what I'm looking for. It's a rare artifact. I'm thinking it was made by immigrants from Eastern Asia. I'm hoping that the Smithsonian will buy it and put it in their American History collection."

"Listen, you don't want to get that Weeping Angel out of the cave. If you blink, it's going to transport you to before you were born and you won't be able to come back to the present alive. I don’t know where the Angel will take you—1960, 1920, even 1860—but you're never coming back to the present time. Ever. The Angel's going to feed off your energy while you die slowly in your new decade."

"That's an interesting folk tale, Doctor. I'll heed your warning."

Whitehead walked into the cave.

"I guess we've got to go in and save Professor Whitehead before he ends up in 1920."

"Remember, River…"

"Don't blink. I know."

The Doctor and River ran back into the cave after Whitehead.

When they found Whitehead, he had found the Weeping Angel. He was so scared he couldn't move. River grabbed him and the two said to Whitehead "Don't blink, don't blink!"

Whitehead didn't listen to River or the Doctor, and the Weeping Angel followed the three into the TARDIS.

"River," the Doctor said, "can you pilot the TARDIS over Kīleuea? Specifically, I need her over Pu'u 'Ō'ō, the volcano's active centre. And Professor Whitehead, _please_ don't blink. It's bad enough we have a Weeping Angel in my TARDIS."

"Right."

River drove the TARDIS over Pu'u 'Ō'ō. The Doctor opened the TARDIS doors and jumped out the TARDIS as Professor Whitehead grabbed the interior of the TARDIS in fear. The Weeping Angel followed the Doctor out of the TARDIS.

River drove the TARDIS so the TARDIS would be able to catch the Doctor before he fell into Pu'u 'Ō'ō. The Weeping Angel fell into the volcano. It didn't take long for the Weeping Angel to burn in the volcano's lava.

"Sweetie, after we drop Professor Whitehead back at his hotel, I think we need to go on a different trip," River said. "Let's try somewhere cooler, like Winter Wonderland. I think the TARDIS will be grateful."

"That's a song, River," Professor Whitehead said.

"No," the Doctor said. "It's actually a planet. All winter sports, all of the time. Skiing, snowboarding, bobsledding—if it's a winter sport, Winter Wonderland has it."

"Can I go?"

"No," the Doctor and River said at the same time.

"Couples only, " the Doctor said.

"Sorry, sweetie. Better luck next time."


End file.
